Maybe it was just Korea?

I had gotten to the point right before I left Korea where I thought, maybe it's Korea. Maybe we're just under a lot of stress because we are broke and we aren't sleeping well (two people on a twin bed for 2 1/2 months SUCKS). I convinced myself that we would be fine as soon as we got to Washington. We would move and start our life together (for real this time) and we would be happy. I didn't realize that I would think that just about every 6 months for the entirety of our marriage. I came home at the end of February in 2004 and he came back to the states about 2 weeks later in the beginning of May. We got my little apartment packed up, loaded up our two vehicles, the dog, and the cat and started the drive to Washington. It was kind of fun. A road trip across the country as newlyweds. The only problem was the army. Before you PCS you are supposed to be given an allowance for moving. We didn't receive ours in time. So my husband had to drive to Fort Campbell and get an Army Emergency Relief loan just so we would have money for gas, hotels, and food on the way to Fort Lewis. We got to Fort Lewis the last week of May. We had to stay in very very dingy crappy motels for about 4 days before we found an apartment to move into. The thing we found out the hard way is that Washington is a lot more expensive to live in than Tennessee or Kentucky. Everything was more expensive. We found a 2 bed 2 bath apartment that allowed pets and we moved in as that day. However, we still didn't have our furniture. How does that process work? Let me explain. The army contracts out to a civilian moving company (i.e. mayflower). Mayflower will come and pack you up and move your stuff but it's not taken to YOU. It's taken to a warehouse on or around whatever post you're going to. So a lot of times your stuff beats you to your destination. Then you have to call and make an appointment for your household goods to be delivered. So, you get moved in and have your stuff delivered next day right? WRONG. More like two weeks later. So here we are in a fairly nice apartment with a dog and a cat and absolutely no furniture. Not even a pot to cook in. Barely any money left. We got put in a position that a LOT of young military couples get put in. We need money. I started applying for jobs immediately. The thought of going back to school was too financially stressful and there wasn't a college in our vicinity that had my program anyway, so school was getting put on the back burner. About a week after I started putting in applications I got interviews at Starbucks and Build-A-Bear. I got offered positions at both places but I ultimately went with Build-A-Bear. Sounds fun! I started working there at the end of April. The unit my husband was assigned to was already in Iraq and since he had been in Korea for a year he was supposed to be stateside for a year. Sometime in the beginning/middle of May he came home and told me that they were sending him to Iraq anyway. He would be leaving in the middle of June. I flipped. I was mad at the army. How could they do this to me? We just got married! We just moved! I don't know anyone here except the people I work with! My husband wasn't helping himself very much at work either. He would sleep through his alarm clock and miss PT. (This happened several times during the course of our marriage.) He would fake an injury. He was lazy to say the least. Sometimes I really wonder how he even made it through basic training. But the sad thing is, the military is FULL of people like that. They aren't all hooah and patriotic and serving the greater good. Don't get me wrong, there are a LOT of guys and girls like that but my husband wasn't one of them and a lot of soldiers I met are like him. He always pushed the blame on the military. It was always anyone else's fault but his. Two weeks before he left for Iraq I was NOT feeling good. Very nauseous and crabby. My period had always been irregular so I didn't notice that I hadn't had a period in May and now I was missing June. So I went and bought a pregnancy test. I wanted to wait until the next morning to take it (morning pee is the best for clear results the box said). I was a nervous wreck. The next morning, true to form, my husband slept through his alarm clock and missed PT formation. He immediately begins trying to form a lie to tell them about why he missed. Since I was such a supportive wife I tried to help and said, why don't I take this pregnancy test and if it's positive then we'll go to the hospital and tell them I'm feeling sick and then we can "find out" at the hospital. No good. They won't care if you're sick, he tells me. It has to be him. So he decides he's going to go to the hospital and say HE'S sick. I take the pregnancy test anyway. DING DING DING! We have a winner! You're pregnant!!! I threw the pregnancy test across the bathroom. I felt even more sick. I was beside myself with worry. I can't be pregnant my husband is deploying in TWO WEEKS!!!