No....I'm not pregnant.

Well, needless to say we still had to go to the hospital and feign a sickness. Although I looked a lot worse than he did. Two of his sergeants came up to the hospital to check on him. One of them, a woman whose name I cannot remember, sat down with me and started talking to me. I was in no mood and on the verge of tears. She picked up on that and started asking me why I was so upset. I told her about my pregnancy and started to cry. She actually asked me why I was so upset. To me it was pretty obvious. Hello! I don't know ANYONE here and my husband is deploying! I'm going to go through the first half of this pregnancy all alone. After my husband and I had been dating for a few months he had started doing a pretty subtle job of seperating me from friends and family. I didn't really notice it until around the time I got pregnant. When I started college I had a huge group of friends. A large christian family and that embraced me and loved me. My relationships with my family were strained and will probably always be, but I had friends. Very close friends. Great people that would support me. When I got pregnant, I didn't really have that anymore. I still had a few but I had removed myself from so many people and been so selfish as a friend because of my own problems. That sergeant just didn't understand this and I didn't really expect her to. "You're married!" she said. "This is great!" It would take me a long long time to think my pregnancy was great. The next two weeks were pretty horrible. My husband spent money that we didn't have for things he didn't need. We fought about a lot. Then I apologized even when he should have. The day he left I was glad. He left me pregnant with $10 to my name and a week and a half until payday. I still had to get to work and we didn't really have groceries. When I came home from dropping him off to deploy, I came home to an apartment with no electricity because he didn't pay the bill. What a great way to take care of your pregnant wife.
Let me tell you another great thing about the military. There are a LOT of us. Especially on a post like Fort Lewis. Fort Lewis is also connected to McChord Airforce Base. So all of those people come to the hospital on Fort Lewis. Then we have Bremerton Naval base about an hour or so up north. They come to Madigan as well. Madigan Army Medical Center is the hospital and all doctors clinics on Fort Lewis. Very nice facility but a LOT of people to serve. It can sometimes take 2 hours to get a precription filled at the outpatient pharmacy. We may not pay a co-pay for that medicine, but, we pay in time. Because of this, I wasn't even able to get in to see a doctor until the middle of JULY. So I had skipped 2 periods and known for almost a month that I was pregnant before I could get in to see an OB/GYN. When I finally did get in I saw a wonderful guy named Dr. Sessions. I will always remember that man's name. lol We estimated I was 16 weeks pregnant based on my last period and I got my prenatals and some books and I finally started to get excited. I wasn't sure if I wanted to have a girl or a boy but my family seemed to think that I was going to have a girl. I think it was more because they wanted me to have a girl. I secretly wanted a boy. Even my husband thought we were having a girl and he wanted a girl (so he said). Since I was 16 weeks along at the time I was far enough along to have a blood test done to see if the baby might have some genetic disease. A few days later I got a call from the doctor saying something was something abnormal I needed to come in for an ultrasound. I immediately thought the worst. Something my mom taught me to do really well. I called the couple of people I felt like I could and waited for my husband to call me. That was excrutiating. I knew that he was driving trucks and fuelers in convoys so it was very unpredictable when he could call me. When I told him he was pretty calm and collected and said I'm sure everything is fine. I just wasn't taught to think that way. Everything in my life had always been drama. Thanks, Ma. I went in a few days later for my ultrasound and yes, everything was fine. The baby wasn't as old as we thought, I was only 13 weeks pregnant instead of 17 weeks. So I hadn't actually been far enough along to have the blood test done and that's why it came back abnormal. Baby looked good. Moving around a lot and seeing my little baby healthy was when I started to fall in love with him. The next couple of months were stressful for me. My mother-in-law (whom I had never had a good relationship) called me one time and asked what reason do you have to be so stressed out. Ok, drama aside, I think I had quite a few reasons to be stressed out. That was just rediculous. I still went to work and brought home my little paycheck. I entertained customers and my co-workers. The rest of the time I was eating, sleeping, or on the computer talking to my husband. The majority of the time I was sleeping. I was depressed and the only time I actually felt like human being was at work. September came and I was 20 weeks pregnant. You know what that means! The BIG ultrasound! Build-A-Bear has this great thing that you can put in a bear called a record-a-sound. I bought one and took it with me to the ultrasound so that I could record baby's heartbeat and put it in a bear for my husband. Everything looked good and normal and then the ultrasound tech asked, so do you want to know if it's a boy or girl. YES! I can't stand to not know! It was a boy. My sweet baby boy. I started crying. I was so happy. She thought I was upset. Haha! No, I explained to her, I'm so happy. I would NEVER in a million years trade my sweet boy for a girl. I was over the moon. My husband got to call me that night and he was very excited. My mom was happy for me (I guess) but I know she was disappointed it wasn't a girl, my mother-in-law as well. For the next couple of weeks we tossed around names. He never liked any of my choices so I finally said fine, it's up to you. You give me options and I'll say yes or no. One day he came back to me with Aiden Patrick. I loved it. Probably one of the few things he did perfectly in our marriage. A lot of people said, Why not Patrick Aiden? No. Aiden Patrick. At the time, I didn't realize that Aiden, Brayden, Jayden, Hayden, Kaden, and any other variant of the name was extremely popular. I just wanted an Irish name. Now I kinda feel bad for my son! lol But the name suits him perfectly. A few days before Halloween my husband was set to come home. I had fixed a lot of our financial mess but not all of it so he decided to go ahead and REenlist early so that he could get a bonus. That money was gone about 2 days after we got it. Paid of debt. And we STILL had mounds of it. But that's ok, I thought, we'll just wait until he gets home and things will be good. We'll start our family and things will get better. Our relationship had gotten better while he was gone (wouldn't that be a big red flag to you?) so we were going to be fine. I just needed to wait until he got home. There I was...waiting for everything to be ok....again.